Put the webcam down.

Every now and again on YouTube you have a kind of twilight zone moment in which one minute you are YouTubing gospel songs and next thing you're watching a fat girl slap her stomach fat together. (If you're me it happens in the opposite direction, fat girls on YouTube FTW)

Here is my journey, one minute you are watching Jamie Oliver put meat into a washing machine to mimic the way Mc Donalds create 'Pink Slime' for their burgers.

Then you're watching an Australian create a home made big mac, then you start watching how chicken nuggets are made (in a horrendous manner). Then you Stumble across a cool Japanese pool. Then you click the link that says 'COKE + PORK = WORMS'. Then you end up watching a video which is just one picture of a character from Spongebob Squarepants.


Then you watch the video that shows you what kissing looks like from inside of the mouth. Funnily enough this where it starts to go wrong.

So then you see videos at the side showing you how to kiss 'properly' and you think cool, tips. One video in and you realise there are no tips to be had. There are a kagillion 'How to kiss videos' on YouTube and in true YouTube fashion NONE of them are helpful. In this high-tech day & age you would assume any inquisitive youth wanting to learn how to kiss like the people on TV would have an array of shit to learn from. But still the best place to practice kissing is probably your pillow or your hand. Or a mirror. (Psschh, what, who does that? I mean DID that. Not me)

Then you see this video:

Then this x__x :

Then This -____-:

Then this:

Then this and this it what took the biscuit & drove me to document. This is exactly the kind of mess that I knew would happen:

Why the hell would anyone think this shit is appropriate. I can just about understand the boyfriend tag because YouTube beauty bloggers are well known narcissists and this is what they do. Plus YouTube tags are something that have been around for a while.

But setting a camera up to document you both kissing and hugging each other for a non-fetish website is WEIRD. It is very WEIRD. Crying into a webcam for YouTube because your mummy and daddy won't let you date your super cool older boyfriend is WEIRD. And filming your boyfriend ask you out again is WEIRD, with that baby voice that makes my eyeballs itch.

IT'S NOT OK. I know i'm not the best person to write about this because for me my personal life is so personal, a part of me would love to put all my favorite people in a cubicle with air holes so they can only be mine and it's none of your business what they did today.

Even to the extent where on twitter I see people talking about their partners every 5 seconds, obviously there is nothing wrong with talking about someone you love, when you love someone they generally take up a lot of your thoughts. But i'm talking about the ones who act like he inhales oxygen for them, every other minute he has to be mentioned or the ones who feel the need to make an announcement every time he does something to their vagina's. It makes me do O_o, REALLY? No one needs to KNOW! Not even in a prudish manner, to me it's as if these people can't have something be real to them unless everyone else knows about it.

'This is my boyfriend we do this together, he exists guys really and he loves me this is why he does these things that you all need to know about'


NO1CURR! On the interwebz about only a handful of people are actually your FRIENDS. Remember that and grow some BALLS.

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